


KARKAT => hit shitty troll puberty

by Kadaaver



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Illustrated, M/M, Trans Dave Strider, Wingfic, Xeno, adult molt, boys bonding over disliking their bodies, but its nothing too nasty i promise, i have some bug headcanons for trolls ok, not... the typical kind of wingfic tho, pesterlogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 02:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15921086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kadaaver/pseuds/Kadaaver
Summary: DAVE => try not to worry your socks offKarkat locks himself into his room and refuses to come out or let anyone in. Dave tries to comfort him to his best ability. Which leads to the boys actually opening up and talking about some personal shit.





	KARKAT => hit shitty troll puberty

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Added an [illustration](http://arvidsketches.tumblr.com/post/177848993338/an-illustration-i-made-for-my-wingfic-hdfksjh-go/) of Karkat!

Karkat was FURIOUS. Apparently life hadn't already fucked with him enough as it is, and despite being only 7 sweeps his adult-molt had decided to kick in early. What this meant - as far as what you had understood it - it was basically the troll version of puberty. Like, a compressed, super quick and intense version of puberty. He had more or less barricaded himself inside his own room when he realized what was happening, and would only communicate with the outside world via chat. So you were left with the other trolls as .. counselors of sorts to what your best bro/date mate was going through. You and Karkat hadn't really approached that subject with the rest of your friends, not out of avoidance but just.. well, it just hadn’t come up.

That made matters a little complicated since you were worrying your socks off, and as it so happened all the trolls you were stuck with were cryptic little shits, or just uncomfortable with telling you about the subject. And Karkat himself.. he wasn’t unresponsive, for sure. And he did share some tidbits of what was going on. So far you had manage to deduce that it was literally a molt, not just a dramatic name for it. Karkat kept complaining about how badly his skin was itching, but that he really wasn’t supposed to scratch it during this time. Which made sense - if it really was like some.. bug thing, then damaging the exterior while it was forming could lead to permanent damage, right..? You had no idea. Your own worries were only about your shitty chest currently growing and being sensitive as fuck, probably a warning sign for an oncoming storm. You were so not in the fucking mood to deal with that, but Rose and Kanaya had actually been an excellent comfort and help, promising you to try and alchemize or literally sew you a binder when/if you’d need one. Rose was the best ecto-sister you could possibly have wished for, and Kanaya the best alien girlfriend of said ecto-sister.

But anyway, Karkat. He was literally writing you 24/7, which wasn’t really out of the ordinary, but all the little fucker was doing was complaining. And like… you weren’t complaining about _him_ complaining here, just the fact you couldn’t be there for him right now. Because let’s be real here, when it came to comforting Karkat you really wasn’t the best with words, and both of you probably appreciated physical comfort a bit more. Because he was a master of twisting your words around when he felt like shit, and turning comfort-time into argument-time was really not something you were looking for a repeat of.

So you were stuck by your computer or phone attempting to be a supportive boyfriend, but it was frustrating as fuck to both of you.

 

TG: why cant you just let me in babe

TG: i mean if youre afraid of me laughing at you i promise i wont

TG: and if i do youll get your revenge pretty soon when i hit my human molt or whatever

TG: we dont actually molt tho we just kinda swell and smell

TG: wow i even disgusted myself there sorry

CG: EXCUSE ME?

CG: HAS THE DAY FINALLY ARRIVED THAT DAVE STRIDER FINALLY PICKS UP ON HIS OWN BULLSHIT? EXTRORDINARY!

TG: oh stuff it

CG: NO, YOU STUFF IT.

CG: NOW, TO ANSWER YOUR PITIFUL QUESTION.

CG: I’M NOT LETTING YOU IN HERE BECAUSE IT’S WAY OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. THERE’S

CG: THERE’S A LOT OF BLOOD, AND I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING MESS

TG: oh shit

TG: are you okay

TG: like hurt

TG: does troll puberty hurt

CG: FOR THE LAST TIME

CG: IT’S CALLED ADULT MOLT.

CG: AND YES, IT HURTS, BUT IT’S NOT ABNORMAL. EXCEPT THE FACT THAT IT’S ROUGHLY 1 SWEEP TOO EARLY, YOU KNOW.

TG: yeah i know all about that shit

TG: but ok ok good to hear

TG: not the part about it hurting but the part that everything is as it should be

CG: IT’S NOT AS IT SHOULD BE.

TG: i know karkat shit

TG: please dont ride my dick this hard you know im shit at this

CG: SORRY.

CG: IT’S JUST

CG: YOU CAUGHT ME AT A BAD TIME OK.

TG: oh?

CG: THERE’S BEEN A COMPLICATION. OF SORTS.

TG: care to fill me in

CG: NO.

TG: well then

TG: ill just keep trying to comfort you without knowing what im talking about

CG: URGH.

CG: SORRY. I KNOW I’M BEING UNFAIR. I’M JUST KINDA NOT READY TO ACCEPT THE CONCEPT THAT I’M GOING TO SPEND MY ENTIRE LIFE LIKE THIS.

TG: what do you mean

TG: wont it like eventually settle

CG: NO

CG: IT’S LIKE

CG: URGH

TG: ok i have no idea what youre going through obviously

TG: but i think i have a kind of understanding of how youre feeling

CG: YOU DO?

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO WAKE UP AND NO LONGER RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN GODDAMN BODY?

TG: not exactly

TG: but i do know what its like to wake up and realize that my body has been wrong my whole life

TG: and since we’re all hitting happy teenage times im being more and more reminded about that every day so thats nice

CG: ?

CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AND WHY DIDN’T I KNOW ABOUT THIS?

TG: lmao dude

TG: you refuse to tell but you demand to know

TG: but ok i can work with this lets make a deal

TG: i tell you about my shit and you’ll let me in on what the fuck is going on with you

TG: quid pro quo clarice

TG: yes or no

CG: GOING TO IGNORE THAT YOU CALLED ME CLARICE THERE AND MOVE ON.

CG: ALRIGHT, YES.

TG: sweet

TG: alright well trolls obviously have genders

CG: YES, DAVE, TROLLS HAVE GENDERS.

TG: dont be rude when im opening up my heart and soul here karkat

CG: I’LL STOP BEING RUDE WHEN YOU STOP SAYING STUPID SHIT.

TG: alright fair

TG: anyway

TG: trolls have genders and humans have genders

TG: dunno if troll society puts any value n shit into them tho???

CG: VALUE INTO GENDERS? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

TG: wow really?

TG: well humans do ok

TG: we have this whole deal that one gender is better than the other and our entire society is literally constructed to favour dudes instead of chicks

CG: ??? THAT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE.

TG: yeah i know

TG: anyway x2

TG: i dunno how to explain this

TG: or wait i could start by asking

TG: do you know what being trans is?

CG: NOT REALLY, CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS?

TG: sure

TG: its when a someone born in a chick body is actually a dude

TG: or the other way around

TG: and they dont dig their body or they way theyre treated in society because of it

CG: AH.

CG: WELL YEAH, OF COURSE WE HAVE THAT.

CG: IT’S JUST NOT A BIG DEAL FOR US THOUGH. SO WE DON’T REALLY HAVE A NAME FOR IT.

CG: KANAYA DID THAT, SHE WAS BORN WITH THE MALE SECONDARY CHARACTERISTICS, AND TOTALLY DIDN’T DIG THAT.

TG: what?! really

TG: what did she do

CG: SHE JUST ASKED US TO USE THE RIGHT PRONOUNS. I DON’T KNOW, DAVE, YOU ASK HER.

TG: i probably should

TG: but yeah where i was getting at is that im trans

CG: THAT MUCH WAS OBVIOUS. I MEAN, BY THE CONVERSATION.

TG: yeah

TG: so

TG: yeah

CG: DAVE?

CG: YOU OKAY?

TG: it just sucks to tell people i guess

TG: but its pretty much unavoidable now when all hell is breaking loose in hormone city

TG: it sucks

CG: YOUR BODY IS GOING TO TELL EVERYONE YOU’RE THE WRONG GENDER?

TG: basically

TG: i can tell you more in person i guess

TG: its a bit wacky

TG: but hey now my sad backstory is out what about yours

CG: URGH FINE.

CG: ALRIGHT SO

CG: THE HEMOSPECTRUM

TG: oh god

CG: SHUT UP.

CG: YOU HUMANS HAVE YOUR SILLY GENDER DISCRIMINATION, WE TROLLS HAVE BLOOD DISCRIMINATION.

CG: AND BASICALLY EVERYONE ON THIS GODDAMN METEOR ALREADY KNOW THAT I’M NOT ON IT, MAKING ME A MUTANT AND AN OUTCAST.

CG: AND ALSO, APPARENTLY, KIND OF A WILD CARD.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, GET THIS;

CG: SINCE MY BLOOD COLOUR IS NOT ON THE ACTUAL SPECTRUM, NO ONE REALLY HAD A CLUE WHAT CRAZY SHIT MY BODY WAS GONNA DO.

CG: TAKE VRISKA, FOR EXAMPLE. SHE GOT THAT CRAZY SPIDER EYE GOING ON, RIGHT? AND THE TELEPATHY.

TG: right

CG: THAT’S HER BLOOD’S ABILITIES, BASICALLY.

CG: AND YOU REMEMBER SOLLUX?

CG: HE WAS KIND OF BURNED OUT WHEN YOU MET HIM, BUT BEFORE THAT HE HAD THESE WICKED EYE LASERS

TG: youre fucking kidding me

CG: NO I SWEAR!

CG: IT’S CALLED PSIONICS, AND IT’S EXCLUSIVELY A YELLOW-BLOOD ATTRIBUTE.

TG: well shit

TG: not going to lie karkat thats really fucking cool

CG: NOT NECESSARILY, CONSIDERING ALL THE SUFFERING THEY CAUSED HIM.

CG: ANYWAY, THERE’S MORE EXAMPLES BUT I DON’T FEEL LIKE DRAGGING ALL OF THEM UP. BUT BASICALLY, EVERY BLOOD COLOUR HAVE AN ASSOCIATED ATTRIBUTE.

CG: EVERY *KNOWN* BLOOD COLOUR.

TG: alright yeah im picking up what youre putting down

CG: GRAND.

CG: MY THEORY WAS ALWAYS THAT I WAS KIND OF A DUD.

CG: A FAILURE OF A TROLL WITH NOTHING REALLY INTERESTING GOING ON, AND THEREFORE NO PURPOSE.

CG: TURNS OUT, HOWEVER, THAT BEING A MUTANT IS MORE COMPARABLE TO BEING SOME FREAKISH KIND OF COMBINATION WHATEVER THE FUCK.

CG: ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

TG: dont talk that way about yourself

TG: also

TG: i cant wait to tell you about how human reproduction works

CG: GROSS.

TG: anyway tell me what the fuck is up already

CG: I GREW WINGS.

 

That’s… definitely not at all what you were expecting him to say after this whole conversation. As far as you had understood it, trolls abilities were always psychic. You had never heard of blood colours actually causing physical alterations? Or no wait, sea-dwellers was a thing. God that hemo-shit was really fucking complicated. You type him some quick and bewildered answers while you’re making your way right to his room. You literally can’t go on living unless you get to see what the fuck Karkat is talking about.

 

TG: thats fucking wild

TG: wings??

TG: like vriska??

CG: KINDA.

CG: UH.

CG: JUST MORE PATHETIC.

TG: im on my way over btw

CG: NO!

TG: yeah i am

CG: AJSDKLSJAD;

CG: FUCK!!!

CG: OK.

TG: ok?

CG: YEAH I SAID OK. I’LL LET YOU IN.

 

Oh fuck yeah. You stop outside his door and start knocking a beat on his door and onto the wall next to it. You can hear some obvious scrambling around in there (is he.. moving away furniture from the door?), but he doesn’t open the door immediately when he’s done.

  
“Karkat?”

“Yeah I’m here, I’m just.. aw fuck I’m just gonna do it.”

He nearly rips the door open, and you’re thankful it swings inside or else he would have knocked you clean out. And.. there he is. Karkat Vantas, in all his messy glory. He’s shirtless, which was kind of a shocker. But taking a closer look on him kind of makes you understand why. 

All in all? He doesn’t really look that different, except his terribly flaking and irritated skin. And besides looking gross and flaky, his skin also looks.. pale. Like when a snake is about to shed but the old skin is still caught on top of the new. It’s a very bizarre look on someone otherwise so humanoid. His horns are still the same, his teeth and ears. You do notice a spark of red in his eyes that wasn’t there before, and it kinda does funny things to your heart. But you’re not gonna say that. You’re not.. seeing any wings though.

“You look like shit Karkat, but I’m happy to see you nevertheless.” You tell him, and he straight up punches you in the shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up and step inside before I change my mind.” He hisses, and oh snap you’re not challenging that. So you slip inside, and he slams the door shut so fast behind you that you feel like Indiana Jones rolling under a descending rock door the very last second.

“Alright, I was promised wings Karkat, show me the goods!”

“Fuck! Okay, but be quiet, I’m not done freaking out about it and the last thing I need is Vriska or Terezi catching wind about this.” He whispers, and you instinctively hunch your back a bit. Stealth mode engaged.

“Okay.. uh, don’t touch them, please. They’re really fucking sensitive right now.” He warns you, before turning around.

And once again you’re.. kinda not sure what he’s talking about. There’s no wings there. Just two flaps on his back that wasn’t there before. They’re not super large, they only cover about half his back, and they’re fairly slim. They’re also way darker than his skin colour, and look to be a complete different texture - a bit shiny, more like an exoskeleton? Which is.. hella funky.

You’re just about to ask him to clarify if wings means the same things to troll as it does to humans, when the new plates on his back _move_.

It startles the fuck out of you, first. Because they kind of twitch.

Karkat is looking over his shoulder discreetly, obviously trying to tell if anything’s happening.

“Uh. Keep going. They moved a little bit but I still don’t see any wings.”

“Shit, ok, wait a bit.”

You gladly do, It’s.. really fucking fascinating to watch. They twitch again, then this really frail looking material sticks out from the bottom. Its sheer red, and seems to have some intricate veiny texture from what you can tell. Or perhaps that’s just how they’re folded. The flaps twitch again, then shoot out to the sides to reveal the fragile wings fully.

They’re.. amazing.

They look like beetle wings, but thanks to their size you can see every detail in them and they’re absolutely gorgeous. They’re bright red, and you understand why Karkat doesn’t want you touching them because they look like they could break.

You.. become increasingly aware that you’re just staring without saying anything. Mainly because Karkat looks right at you over his shoulder.

“Karkat, fuck the eye lasers, man. This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.” You say, because it’s your genuine thoughts. And despite his currently odd coloured, pale skin the crimson blush of his cheeks is still perfectly visible.

“Thanks.. I guess. It’s just.. stupid. Firstly, what the fuck am I supposed to do with these tiny ass wings? And secondly, what the fuck?! This has only been known to happen to like, three people in troll history? Vriska and Aradia not included because that’s SGRUB bullshit.”

You’re still absolutely mesmerized by watching these delicate little things. They’re really only like, the size of your forearm. No way they could ever be put to any use, especially for such a big guy as Karkat. He looks incredibly frustrated, but mostly confused.

“Doesn’t that make it even more cooler? That you’re one in a million this thing happened to?”

“Nah, I’m kinda done with being singled out from my peers to be honest. Having to hide my blood my entire life is one thing, now this? What complete asshole bullshit.”

“You want to hide these?”

He shoots you _a look_.

“Look I know I’m asking stupid questions but I’m doing it to get to the same page you’re at here. I'm fine with you doing the same thing when we talk about my gender bullshit.”

Karkat's _look_ lasts for a good ten more seconds, then turns into an exhausted sigh. “You're right, sorry. I'm way stressed out right now and the concept of having to hide even more freaks me the fuck out.”

“Do they.. hurt? Like, to keep tucked in.”

“Right now they hurt a little, but I think it's because they literally just fucking formed. My guess would be that the hurting will pass.”

“That's good news. And when I came in here, I literally didn't notice them, barely even when you turned around. If you intend to keep them in secret, I don't think it's going to be so difficult.”

“Yeah.. but that's kinda not the problem. It's just the stress of feeling I gotta hide it.”

“Then.. have you considered _not_ hiding it?”

“Are you crazy?”

“Yes, but hear me out. We're six people on this meteor, seven if we count the Mayor-”

“Eight. You forgot about Gamzee again.”

“Shit dude, at this rate I think it's more about repressing than forgetting. But anyway, the fact remains! So among these .. eight people you have a girl that once was possessed by Cthulhu, a dude with tits, a blind troll who licks things to see them, a fucking spider troll with mind magic - AND WINGS I might add! Then Kanaya, who's kind of a weirdo too with her glowy shit. I mean c'mon Karkat, it was honestly about time you stepped up to our weirdness level. I should say welcome to the family!”

He turns around to face you while you're talking, and while his expression is tightly knit together in frustration you can also spot a bit of the rare 'you-might-have-a-point-strider’ look in his eyes.

“ALRIGHT. You've got a point.” Score.

“But.. let me just deal with this, before dealing with that. You know what I'm saying?”

“I think I do, dog. And that's cool.”

The two of you fall silent for a little bit, bit the air between you is still heavy with thought.

“You know.. I really appreciated you telling me about the human gender thing. I was so dead set determined that no one could possibly understand even a little of how I felt but.. guess I was fucking wrong again.”

You think that this is his way of thanking you, but it's hard to tell with how much self depreciation it's soaked in. But that's Karkat alright.

“Anytime, man. It was certainly not what I expected my experiences to be comparable too but I'm actually glad.. it's a shitty thing to have in common but considering we're both aliens to each other.. it's kinda nice just to have something in common.”

He's smiling. He's trying to hide it but he's definitely smiling. You had a feeling that cheesy little shit would love thinking about it that way.

“Can I hug you? I promise to not touch the back. I'll go for your butt instead.”

He snorts and nods, then steps closer and embrace you into a hug. It's not like you have a choice with where to hold him really. Even during normal hugs you have difficulties managing to wrap your arms around his shoulders, so you often settle for around his waist instead. The downside of having a boyfriend that's two heads taller than you. But then again, Karkat had a great waist. And a great butt. So there really was no downside.

“I'm sorry you have to deal with new shitty wings on top of the molt shit.”

“I'm sorry you have to deal with swelling and smelling.”

“Ew dude gross.”

“You're literally the one that said it. It came out of your fingertips.”

“Yeah and it was also the first phrase in Strider-history that I immediately took back. That should tell you of how severely disgusting it was, Karkat.”

He snorts and squishes you a bit tighter towards his chest, you chuckle back and run your fingers in a small circle on his lower back.

“Can I look at them again?”

“Uh.. sure. Do you want me to sit down this time?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

He nods and moved away from you, then pulls out a chair and sits down on it backwards. Like an old man trying to be hip. Adorable.

“Sweet. Can I touch your back, like, around them?”

“Oh.. you can try. You'll know if I don't like it.” He says with uncertainty, and the threat is left hanging in the air. But that's fine. Being threatened by Karkat at this point is a declaration of affection.

So you go for it, very gently. The fragile wings are still extended, but in a more relaxed position than before, when it looked like he was stretching them out. Now then just kinda droop down his sides. You run your fingers along his spine, right between the two flaps. When Karkat doesn't say anything you keep exploring. You trace the outline of them, and smirk a bit when Karkat does a full body shiver.

“Is it weird?”

“No, you're just cold, jackass.”

“Ok. But no pain?”

“No, but you're being way gentler than I was.”

“I'm not surprised. Hey, can you tuck them back in? It was super fucking cool to watch.”

“Sure, hang on. It's really fucking tricky.”

He falls silent again, and you're kinda disappointed that you can't see his face because you're certain he's got some extreme focus frown going on. It doesn't take as long for the wings to get the message this time, they kinda twitch again and start folding themselves back together. And they just sorta.. disappear back in under the flaps once they've closed fully. It looked cooler when they first came out but getting to see the mechanics of them like this was still really great.

“They're all packed up, good job!” You tell him and give him a smack on the shoulder. He snorts and turns around to wave his claws after you, kinda like a pissed off cat.

“Is it difficult to move them?”

“Yeah, it's like.. I gotta look really long to locate the muscle, and then really focus to get it to do what I want.”

“Oh, I think I know what you mean. I got that sorts thing going on with my ears, check it out.”

You wiggle your ears.

And of course Karkat doesn't look impressed, because trolls are naturally gifted with movable ears. Privileged shit.

“Oh wait, human ears don't move! What the fuck Dave?!”

Nice, that's the reaction you wanted.

“Years of dedication.”

“Truly inspiring, Strider.” He snorts and kinda flails after you again. You take pity on him and put your hands on his shoulders. They feel weird and sorts clammy and he's way warmer than usual, but the sigh he breathes out is a happy one so you think you're doing something right.

“So.. are you gonna kick me out again or will you let me stay and help out?”

“Not sure what help you can be. But.. your presence is surprisingly pleasant.”

“So that's a yes?”

“I guess. Wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Hell yeah dude.”

 

*

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just.. can't stop thinking about Karkat having small shitty wings..
> 
> I'd also like to say that I know the way Dave is talking about gender issues and trans matters is a bit insensitive. I'm trying to channel my inner 13-15 yearold and the confusion i felt dealing with misogyny and dysphoria. "Do i hate being treated like a girl because girls are treated like shit, or do I hate being treated like a girl because I'm not a girl." -- BIG MOOD.


End file.
